They Really Are Listening

One of the cool things about my teaching career is I got to start it when my youngest cousin was starting 6th grade. I could write pages about how fun that experience was and how awesome it was to literally watch her blossom as a young adolescent. The middle level educator in me gets all nerdy with how much her development fit perfectly with all of the research on young adolescents...but I digress...

Now that she is a sophomore (How is that even possible?!), grades aren't nearly as segregated as they are in middle school. So she is friends with a lot of my former students from my first three years of teaching.

My first year of teaching I had a student who could be a real terror (definitely not the worst student I had, but still pretty bad some days). His parents are AWESOME and were SO supportive anytime I contacted them.*

Our flow went something like this:
Disrespect from him towards me
I called mom or dad (he feared both of them equally)*
He got a serious consequence at home*
He wouldn't talk to me a for a few days
We'd get on good terms again...we really had a positive relationship and I remember him as one of my favorites that year
He'd slip and get disrespectful again and the cycle continued...

We're all human and mess up. I know that about myself and my students so I don't keep a list of wrongs. Once something is dealt with, I move on. So, I really don't remember all of the details of his poor behavior. I just remember and laugh about the serious silent treatment he would give me for days after I called home. He was a pro at it...like legit would not speak to me or anyone in my class for several days. He didn't realize how nice this was for me considering he was one of my biggest talkers. The class and I often laughed at his stubbornness and refusal to talk. It was great!

My cousin was texting him the other night and told him I was hanging out with her. We were reminiscing together via text and laughing. I told her to ask him about all of the silent treatments and the conversation got real serious.

He said, "Oh man! I was sooooo bad in her class. I feel terrible. Please tell her I am SO SORRY for how I acted!"

Say what?!

And, when she asked him about the silent treatment (as I was laughing with her about him giving me the silent treatment), he said, "Man that was the worst! I hated when she wouldn't talk to me!"

I don't remember, but clearly he does. Apparently there would be times where I would give him the silent treatment, which makes sense because even now I sometimes respond to discipline issues by not responding to the student. Once they start acting right, I'll answer their question or give them the attention they're asking for. So, I'm sure I did, but I never realized the effect it was having. In the day to day grind I wonder if they hear anything I say or try to teach them.

It was so refreshing...even if it is 5 year later...to hear that from him!

They do listen.
They do care.

*Parents, the best way you can support your child's development and education is to be on the same page about expectations and consequences. Be consistent. Support whoever teaches your child. It helps us greatly, but more importantly, it creates caring people!*