Tights

Enter a brief whine session with me...

Tights...oh so cute on little bums...oh so uncomfortable on grown adults. (Am I really a grown adult now? weird.) This Monday was wacky tacky day at school for spirit week. Last year I had this atrocious outfit laid out for wacky tacky day, but it fell on our parent/teacher conference day. As a new teacher, I didn't think it would be very professional to go into a conference with a parent looking as ridiculous as I had planned. So, regular, business professional clothes it was. This year, it just fell on a faculty meeting day. So, I picked out this mismatch outfit that I was so proud of: A bright blue tank top under a yellow polka dot/flower cardigan, a black skirt, hot pink and black stripped tights, and brown Danskos. I was a hot mess...literally and figuratively.

You see, I am a sleeper and tend to push snooze for as long as possible in the morning. This usually results in me walking into school with the students right at 7am. On Monday, I had few more items of clothing to put on than normal...namely the tights. They were the last thing I put on and I did it in a rush. I hiked those suckers up and ran out the door. I barely got to the car before I thought, "I think these tights might be too small," as they had already begun to sag.

I don't know if your tights have ever sagged, but it has got to be one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever. It didn't take me long to realize my tights were in fact too small. My tights sagged about an inch lower than where they should have been all day. I may have snuck to the back of my room a few times while the kids were copying notes to re-hike them up. It annoyed me as a little girl to have my tights sag and it annoyed me a lot to have them sag as an adult...

Not to mention how hot they are to wear! I couldn't tell you the last time I wore tights, which tells you how old this pair of tights must be and clues you in to why they are too small. But, those suckers are thick and not very cool. They're even hotter when the heat is blasting like it's 10 below zero outside. I wanted to take them off so badly, but my legs were way too hairy to even consider that.

However, this story does end well. After sitting in a faculty meeting until 4:30...That's 10 hours in these sweltering, sagging tights, every teacher who dressed up for wacky tacky got a prize that made it all worth it...almost.

If anyone needs a pair of hot pink and black stripped tights, just let me know; I don't think I'll be wearing them again!

I did have a student ask me why I wasn't dressed up for wacky tacky day. I looked down at myself and then back at her with a confused expression. She said, "What? I'd wear that!" Alrighty then...

I also had a student ask if my sister (a senior in college) was my daughter.

The day before that, when I told students I went to Northern, one student asked if any of my teachers were still there. Before I could answer, another student spoke up and said, "Nooo! All of her teachers are probably dead by now!"

Apparently I'm not aging well! Anti-aging companies should use 7th graders as advertisers; they'd be great at making consumers feel really old.